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Living Retired –‘Have Your Cake and Eat It Too’

Posted by on Oct 3, 2022 in Birthdays, Gary Chalk, Happy Birthday, home staging, Humor, humour, real estate, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living | Comments Off on Living Retired –‘Have Your Cake and Eat It Too’

Living Retired –‘Have Your Cake and Eat It Too’

Living Retired — ‘Have Your Cake & Eat It Too’ By Gary Chalk. For many years Jan and I have not celebrated our birthdays. We made a pact that our birthdays are not anything special. At least that is what I thought, until Jan’s birthday last Wednesday. At breakfast she said, “So Gary do you know what day today is?” Knowing Jan did not want to be reminded of her birthday I said, “Yes Dear today is 5 days until our next garbage day.” WELL! You’d think I had committed a major crime! “Gary, I’ll pretend I did not hear what you just said. Try...

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Living Retired — ‘Comparing Cable & Colonoscopy Calls’ d

Posted by on Sep 26, 2022 in Gary Chalk, home staging, Humor, humour, real estate, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Comparing Cable & Colonoscopy Calls’ d

Living Retired — ‘Comparing Cable & Colonoscopy Calls’  d

Living Retired — ‘Comparing Cable & Colonoscopy Calls’ By Gary Chalk If you had a choice, who would you rather call: the cable company because your cable television, internet, and phones aren’t working, again? Or call your doctor to arrange to have a colonoscopy? Me? I’d call for a colonoscopy — no ifs, ands, or butts. “Hi, it is Gary Chalk calling. I would like to book a colonoscopy please.” “Mr. Chalk our records indicate you had one last week. So unfortunately, you aren’t due for another colonoscopy for a few years.” “I understand but...

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Living Retired — ‘Staging Lady’

Posted by on Sep 19, 2022 in Gary Chalk, home staging, Humor, humour, real estate, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, selling home, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Staging Lady’

Living Retired — ‘Staging Lady’

Living Retired — ‘Staging Lady’ By Gary Chalk My wife is a forward-thinking person. She looks ahead planning for what could happen. For instance, if the dry cleaner ever lost one of Jan’s blouses, slacks, or expensive sweaters — which they never have — she has multiple blouses, pairs of slacks, and expensive sweaters already hanging in her closet. Me? I also look forward. These days I am looking forward to the World Series. A while ago Jan posed this forward thinking thought to me: “Gary, the very first thing we would have to do if we put our...

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Living Retired –‘Quiet Quitting’

Posted by on Sep 12, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired –‘Quiet Quitting’

Living Retired –‘Quiet Quitting’

Living Retired — ‘Quiet Quitting’ By Gary Chalk. Do you know what the latest thing is? It is a concept sweeping the workplace called ‘quiet quitting.’ I heard about quiet quitting on the Mike Farwell Show on City News 570. The way Mike described it, quiet quitting is doing the bare minimum at your job. You show up and the minute your shift ends you leave. That is all I learned because while Mike’s expert guest was explaining quiet quitting I practiced quiet quitting — I reached forward and turned the radio off. Unfortunately, that is one...

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Living Retired — ‘Condominium Condumdron’

Posted by on Sep 6, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Condominium Condumdron’

Living Retired — ‘Condominium Condumdron’

Living Retired — ‘Condominium Conundrum’ By Gary Chalk. It hasn’t been busy around our house the last few weeks. That’s because Jan and I have not been home very much. Instead, we have been spending time visiting someone else’s home. We don’t know these people at all. We just know that we like their house — a whole lot. Our planned homelessness began when Jan walked into my office and threw her hands up in the air, “Gary your office is an absolute disaster! There is stuff laying around everywhere! It reminds me of a photograph I saw of...

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Living Retired — ‘The Dirt On Gardening’

Posted by on Aug 29, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘The Dirt On Gardening’

Living Retired — ‘The Dirt On Gardening’

Living Retired — ‘The Dirt On Gardening’ By Gary Chalk. In our marriage my wife and I have learned to respect each other’s expertise around the house. This is what I mean… Jan has a degree in mathematics so naturally she does our family finances — everything from the budgeting to the banking. Me? I am responsible for grocery shopping — keeping the fridge loaded with fresh fruits and vegetables and stocking the pantry. This means our specific duties cross paths when Jan pays the bills. “Gary, what is this $139 Visa bill at Costco?” “I bought...

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Living Retired — ‘Camping Tent-sion’

Posted by on Aug 22, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Camping Tent-sion’

Living Retired — ‘Camping Tent-sion’

Living Retired — ‘Camping Tent-sion’ By Gary Chalk.   Camping is a seven letter word. So is divorce. Just saying.   I am not sure why but many couples try their luck camping shortly after they get married. That is what Jan and I did. We were living in an apartment surrounded by boxes for furniture. I figured since we were used to living among boxes why not stuff our groceries in them and head to the great outdoors. Easy-peasy.   We packed our car with the necessary gear: a Coleman stove, two Woods sleeping bags, and air...

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Living Retired — ‘Can You Believe This?’

Posted by on Aug 15, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Can You Believe This?’

Living Retired — ‘Can You Believe This?’

Living Retired — ‘Can You Believe This?’ By Gary Chalk I have been writing Living Retired for eight years. So you know by now that I don’t make this stuff up — well at least not all of it. Todays column is a factual account of what happened in the Chalk household last week. Thursday evening, I stretched out on the sofa in the family room to watch the first game of the NFL preseason. This is when it all started… I picked up the television remote and noticed brown soot all over the one end. There was even dirt on the tabletop where the remote...

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Living Retired — ‘I Did It Thigh Way’

Posted by on Aug 8, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘I Did It Thigh Way’

Living Retired — ‘I Did It Thigh Way’

Living Retired — ‘I Did It Thigh Way’ By Gary Chalk. I remember a Christmas gift I gave Jan many years ago just like it was yesterday… When Jan unwrapped the box she said, “Gary, you bought me one of those thigh masters that Suzanne Somers promotes.” But then she quickly added, “So while I exercise and get in shape what will you be doing to increase your heart rate?” “That’s easy dear, I’ll look at the photograph on the box of Suzanne Somers.” You remember the thigh master: it was the darling of television infomercials back in the 1990’s. It...

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Living Retired — ‘Please Say A Command’

Posted by on Aug 2, 2022 in Gary Chalk, Humor, humour, Retirement humor, Retirement Humour, Retirement Living, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Living Retired — ‘Please Say A Command’

Living Retired — ‘Please Say A Command’

Living Retired — ‘Please Say A Command’ By Gary Chalk Jan and I are, well lets just say, slow to adapt to changing technology. Here is what I mean… We have his and hers iPhones, but we still keep our reliable old-fashioned landline phone: we have one extension in the kitchen, another in Jan’s office, and one sits on my office desk. When our granddaughters come to our museum they make a big deal about the kitchen counter clunker. When I explain it is a telephone they laugh. Then they pick it up and try to take a video to post on TikTok....

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