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Posted by on Jun 6, 2016 in Retirement Humour, Retirement Living |

THE HAIRS & THE HAIR-NOTS- Living Retired #152

THE HAIRS & THE HAIR-NOTS- Living Retired #152


A very serious medical situation is affecting millions of otherwise healthy baby boomers throughout North America.

I’m not talking about toenail fungus. No, it’s worse. Much worse.

I’m talking about hair loss.

And when I say hair loss I’m not talking about everyday male pattern baldness, which researchers say is most prevalent in diehard Toronto Maple Leaf fans.

For some perspective, it wasn’t that long ago- 1966- that men had long hair. Nowadays, they long for hair.

Experts studying the hair loss outbreak have identified the root of the problem. According to unidentified government officials- who didn’t want to be named for fear of retaliation for working- the reason for this hair loss is: national politics.

Republicans are pulling their hair out because Donald Trump is the presumptive nominee heading to their leadership convention.

This has led to Mexicans, African Americans, Muslims, Latinos, Jewish, refugees, women and everyone else for that matter pulling their hair out! It’s become so bad that even soccer moms driving mini vans are pulling their hair out– AND exposing their roots!

Lately, even the Democrats are getting in on the act…

They are pulling their hair out because Hillary Clinton can’t seem to get Bernie Sanders to quit the race. It’s so bad that Hillary’s handlers are encouraging her to be more like Bernie and wave her hands and arms like a madman when she speaks– if for no other reason than to help prevent underarm fat deposits!

Canadians are pulling their hair out because they want hair like their new leader Justin Trudeau. Some have even gone so far– this may shock Canadians!– to say they didn’t mind Stephen Harpers hair after all.

So where does all this hair pulling leave us?

Investors are concerned. World leaders are wary. But the real impact of all this hair pulling is being felt at voters homes across North America: their bathroom drains are clogged with gooey blobs of Clairol nice & easy medium blonde hair!

Here is the irony…

To clear a clogged drain a long thin flexible auger is twisted down through the drain to remove the hair. The name of this tool? A snake.

Yep, a snake. Hmmm… named after some politicians?