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Posted by on May 5, 2021 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired – ‘YUM & YUMMER’

Living Retired – ‘YUM & YUMMER’

Living Retired: ‘YUM & YUMMER!’  

Covid Couple Confinement has led to an increase in couples cooking together. The time spent researching a perfect menu, finding the appropriate wine to pair with the recipe, and not arguing after dinner about “Why with 500 channels on television there is nothing to watch?” makes for an enjoyable evening.

One downside though, is the repetitive arm injuries brought on by teetering on tiptoes on top a chair flailing a dish towel under the smoke alarm!

“Gary, how much longer does it say to cook that seafood bouillabaisse? My arm is killing me! I can’t take many more nights of this!”

Undeterred, Jan and I soldier on. One thing we have learned is that breaking the recipe down into steps makes things more manageable.

“Gary, I’ll chop the vegetables – because sharp knives are involved.”

“Okay dear, why don’t I look after sweeping the floor under your cutting board. I’ll get the heavy duty industrial-grade shop vac from the garage.”

For a couple months now Jan and I have been making recipes from a cookbook recommended by our friends: ‘Yum & Yummer. Ridiculously Tasty Recipes That’ll Blow Your Mind, But Not Your Diet.’ The author is Greta Podleski, a Canadian. We have enjoyed many of the appetizers, salads, and desserts – and managed to snag the dish towel in the ceiling-mounted smoke alarm only twice!

‘Yum & Yummer’ is unique because you can watch each recipe come to life in a 1-minute video you access through your smartphone. This is where our kitchen camaraderie crumbles…

“Gary, I’m making the recipe for sweet potato quinoa cakes served with black beans and cilantro. Why don’t you check out the video on your smartphone?”

“Jan, if you want me to check out something on my smartphone, I may as well just check out! I don’t know Bluetooth from a basting brush!”

Unfazed, Jan peels potatoes and grinds garlic, while I frustrate myself browsing the internet searching for the video app. Finally, I decided to get my ‘head out of my app’ and watch Jan!

“Gary, can you get the olive oil – we need 2 teaspoons, plus 1 tablespoon divided.”

“Jan, isn’t it already divided if its 2 teaspoons and 1 tablespoon?”

“No Gary. We need 2 teaspoons, plus 1 tablespoon divided. Forget it; you aren’t listening to me. You make the blood in my veins boil!”

“Jan, I’m listening ‘veri-cosely.’”

Cooking can be intimidating. But I don’t have it nearly as bad as my friend Reg…

One evening recently, Reg and his wife were in their kitchen with 40 people they had never met! It was one of those virtual cooking classes where professional chefs wearing whites, instruct amateurs wearing aprons over their underwear because it is on ZOOM!

According to Reg there weren’t too many cooks in the kitchen, and nobody got thrown overboard for serving seared scallops overtop slightly soggy seaweed salad. The comment heard most throughout the evening had nothing to do about broiling, blanching, or basting but rather, “You’re on mute! Turn your microphone on!”

Do you have a kitchen calamity you would like to share? Here is ours…

It was Christmas morning many years ago. Jan made a family favourite breakfast recipe ‘Christmas Morning Wife Saver’ with eggs and bacon layered overtop bread smothered with cheese. It is called a wife saver because it is prepared the night before, then baked in the oven Christmas morning. At the height of Christmas chaos and clamour, Jan announced, “It is ready. It is very hot so be careful.”

SPLAT! Jan slipped on a He-Man action figure and before you could scream “KRIS KRINGLE CATASTROPHE!” our ‘Christmas Morning Wife Saver’ turned into ‘Christmas Morning Wife Swearer!’ Scooping breakfast from the floor, Jan was a summer soccer swearing mom, in December. “Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laaa. #$%#!” That morning ‘breaking bread’ took on a whole new meaning.

Shh, this evenings dinner is almost ready. Jan is putting the final touches on our Yum & Yummer sweet potato quinoa cakes. She has also made baked carrots in honey and ginger. Don’t tell her but for fun I swapped labels on the spice jars—she will find out soon because the ‘thyme is cumin.’

Bon Appetit!