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Posted by on May 15, 2023 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired –‘Tupperware Fits Us To A ‘T’

Living Retired –‘Tupperware Fits Us To A ‘T’

Living Retired — ‘Tupperware Fits to A ‘T’

By Gary Chalk.

Times are tough for Tupperware. The manufacturer of the iconic plastic storage containers may soon burp its last lid.

According to media reports Tupperware is contending with a major debt load and sales have slowed. All this has left consumers my age with what medical experts have coined ‘FSSS: Food Storage Sadness Syndrome.’

When I was a kid, Tupperware home parties were all the rage. Housewives would gather in a neighbour’s living room with its wall-to-wall broadloom. The host would excitedly demonstrate the Tupperware Wonder Bowl with its ‘burp seal’ that locked in freshness. To encourage sales everyone snacked on itty-bitty sandwiches made on green and red bread. One night my mother rushed home after winning the hostess gift: a Tupperware plastic grapefruit cutting knife.

This Tupperware trend has ticked off Jan.

“Gary, at least we still have an entire kitchen cabinet filled with Tupperware.” With that, Jan swung open the cupboard door. What followed scared the bejeebers out of us!

A plethora of plastic cascaded down bouncing off the countertop, sliding across the kitchen floor! I was buried in Tupperware food storage containers of every shape and size — square sandwich containers, circular pasta containers, triangular-shape pie containers, picnic condiment tubs, a butter tray, juice jugs, freezer popsicle thingamajigs — and a mishmash of non-matching lids! When I dug myself out, I tripped over of all things a Tupperware Breakfast Maker Set!

Jan admired her Tupperware tribute. Me? I threw a Tupperware tantrum!

“Jan, this Tupperware mess seals it! Let’s once and for all toss the Tupperware in the trash!”

Not surprisingly, Jan popped her lid!

“Gary, what would we use to store stuff? We have Tupperware containers filled with keys from that open stuff we don’t have, the pens you stockpiled from the bank, the instructions for the remote controls for every television we have ever owned, and all sorts of important stuff.”

“And have you looked in our fridge Gary? We have Tupperware containers filled with leftover turkey, stuffing, and gravy from last Christmas.”

I didn’t miss a beat, “Jan we have more drumsticks than Ringo Starr!”

Elsewhere in our kitchen we have teabags stored in Tupperware containers. A kitchen drawer has a Tupperware measuring spoon set and a Tupperware can opener. We have a Tupperware container filled with masking tape and thumbtacks. Who on earth still uses thumbtacks? It is so bad we even have large Tupperware containers filled with smaller Tupperware containers!

Our home qualifies as a Tupperware Takeover…

In our bathroom the toothbrushes and toothpaste are in a Tupperware tray. In our linen closet we store extra towels in Tupperware boxes. In the basement Jan stashes our winter toques and topcoats — you guessed it! — in a Tupperware tote beside another larger Tupperware tote with our Christmas decorations and the outdoor nativity display with half a manger.

If this is not enough…

The Chalk laundry room is Tupperware and Tide. We toss dirty laundry in Tupperware totes. We store Tide pods in a sealed Tupperware canister.

Somewhere in our garage we have an old Tupperware thermos, and the Tupperware toys our granddaughters played with when they were tiny tots — all in a large Tupperware box.

Do you still have your Tupperware Dip ‘N’ Serve tray? How about your Tupperware Carousel Caddy that holds a dozen beverage-filled tumblers? It isn’t a summer family picnic without my sister Dianne’s deviled eggs served in her round Tupperware container and lid.

Somewhere out there there are Tupperware hamburg patty presses, spaghetti spatulas, mini-ginger graters, kitchen counter spoon rests, and whatchamacallits that will spiralize your cucumbers and zucchini. Does anyone have the Tupperware vegetable peeler with a potato eye remover?

Yep! Tupperware fits us to a ‘T.’


Living Retired is written by humour columnist Gary Chalk.


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