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Posted by on Feb 12, 2024 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired — ‘Title Talk’

Living Retired — ‘Title Talk’

Living Retired — ‘Title Talk’

By Gary Chalk

This week’s Living Retired column came about from two readers, and it may be music to your ears.

Stan in Arizona receives my column each week. Last week, Stan sent an email to Reg, who lives in Brantford, and myself saying, “This may make you feel old, The Beatles split up 49 years ago.”

Reg responded, “Imagine!”

I emailed, “Help! I Need Somebody,” to which Stan said, “I Want To Hold Your Hand’ while sipping a dram.” Then Reg piped in again, “You guys belong in a ‘Yellow Submarine.’” I couldn’t hold back, saying, “I would be claustrophobic in a submarine and end up with visions of ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.’” We all laughed at our responses using Beatles songs.

Well, all day ‘Yesterday’ I found I couldn’t ’Help!’ myself ‘Because,’ well, ‘This Boy’ realized that ‘In My Life’ without listening to The Beatles I was ‘Nowhere Man.’ Simply put, I was feeling old. ‘This Bird Has Flown’ and my ‘Ticket To Ride’ has gone.

Jan noticed the funk I was in and tried to cheer me up. When I walked into the kitchen ‘I Saw Her Standing There.’ Jan looked up and said, “‘Here Comes The Sun.’”

“Jan, I am feeling old, you may want to ‘Get Back.’”

“But Gary, ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand.’”

“Don’t worry Dear, “I Feel Fine.’”

Later in the afternoon I met up with a friend for coffee. I confided to him that I was feeling old, and in turn, it upset Jan. He tried to cheer me up. “Gary, ‘From Me To You’ I am convinced, ‘She Loves You.’ I thought for a while. “‘My Sweet Lord,’ I hope ‘We Can Work It Out.’”

At dinner Jan probed more about how I was feeling. “Gary, maybe you need ‘Help!” Her comment awoke Alexa. “Okay, playing ‘Help! by The Beatles.” With that, The Beatles were blaring in our kitchen, ‘Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody. You know I need someone, Heeeelp!”

I baked salmon for dinner which caused the smoke detector to scream. Jan explained that something smelled fishy. “Dear are you saying, ‘I Am The Walrus?’”

Jan said, “Gary, let’s ‘Come Together’ — ‘We Can Work It Out.’”

That evening, I was still feeling old when we went to bed. “Jan, you’ve got ‘All My Lovin’ ‘Eight Days A Week.’”

Jan chimed in, “Gary, it’s a ‘Long And Winding Road.’

“Please Jan, ‘Let It Be.’”

In the middle of the night…

Jan whispered, “Gary, are you awake? I’ve been thinking. You know I will always love you to ‘Bits And Pieces.’”

HUH? “Jan, ‘Bits And Pieces’ that’s The Dave Clark Five!”


Living Retired is written by ‘Paperback Writer’ Gary Chalk.


NEW! Listen to ‘Living Retired: The Radio Edition’ on The Mike Farwell Show Friday mornings 10:30 — 11 AM on CityNews570.


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