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Posted by on Dec 19, 2021 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired — ‘The 12 Words of Christmas’

Living Retired — ‘The 12 Words of Christmas’

Living Retired – ‘The 12 Words of Christmas’

Five more sleeps and it will Christmas Day 2021. This means it is time for my annual Living Retired Christmas column where I put the six geese a-laying, the seven swans a-swimming, and the eight maids a-milking to ‘a-bed!’ Instead of ‘The 12- Days of Christmas’ it is ‘The 12 Words of Christmas’ – 12 holiday greetings, each in 12 words. Here goes..

“Merry Christmas. I’m in the hospital – I slipped on the decorator pillows!”

“Merry Christmas. 15 strings of lights plugged in one outlet. HOLY SMOKE!”

“Merry Christmas. Dear, the lights just dimmed upstairs – what have you done?”

“Merry Christmas. Come over if you can hook up Nintendo Switch system.”

“Merry Christmas. My husband is carving the turkey – cover the grandchildren’s ears!”

“Merry Christmas. My husband bought all my gifts at Victoria Secret. OMG!”

“Merry Christmas. Dear, what made you think I could fit into THIS?!”

“Merry Christmas. If you are coming over we need booze and batteries.”

“Merry Christmas. It’s the bank manager calling – do you realize you’re broke!”

“Merry Christmas. This toy requires no assembly, no batteries. Ideal for grandfathers.”

“Merry Christmas. I’m constipated, have postnasal drip and irritable bowels. Happy holidays.”

“Merry Christmas. Enjoy the beauty of the holidays. Peace, Jan and Gary.”