Living Retired — ‘Jan Has Her Say’
Living Retired — ‘Jan Has Her Say’
By guest writer Jan Chalk.
Hi. This is Jan, Gary’s wife. According to Gary’s Living Retired column you know all about me. Well, let’s just say you shouldn’t believe everything you read.
Gary has written his Living Retired humour column for eight years now. He thinks it is side-splitting funny. I go along with him and let him have his way — even when the ‘truth escapes him.’
Until now I have kept my fingers away from his keyboard. But something happened to us a few weeks ago that I absolutely have to share with you — before Gary puts his spin on what he thinks happened. We were having dinner…
“Gary, the home security service came today to update our system. How did it go?”
Silence.
“Okay Gary spill the beans what did you do wrong?”
“Well, Jan it was going quite well. The service person was in the linen closet where the security system is wired. He called out for me to come and when I got there all I could see were his feet on the floor. His body was tucked inside the linen closet. He had one of those flashlights you strap around your forehead so he could see.”
With that Gary reached across me to top up my wine glass.
“Okay Gary, this doesn’t sound good. What happened?”
“Did I tell you he was hidden inside the linen closet with a flashlight strapped around his head so he could see what he was doing?”
“Gary, get on with it. Tell me what happened. Better yet tell me what you did?”
Gary reached for the wine bottle. “GARY, NO MORE WINE! WHAT HAPPENED?”
Gary fidgeted. “Okay dear, he said he had to access our internet to complete some sort of test of the security system.”
Right away I worried. To be blunt Gary is a bumbling idiot with computers.
“Jan, all I could see were his feet. He was in darkness somewhere inside the linen closet.”
“GARY, YOU HAVE SAID THAT THREE TIMES! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?”
“Jan, I got down on my knees to look inside. He was holding one of those industrial-type laptop computers. I couldn’t reach inside to type in our password.”
Silence.
“Gary, I am afraid to hear what happened next. Maybe you should pour me more wine after all.”
Gary went on to explain that he told the service person our password!
“You did what? Did you not think? He can now access all our information, everything!”
Gary’s story got worse…
“Jan, he was down on the floor in darkness, so it was difficult to talk very well. I had to repeat the password to him slowly, many times.”
“So Gary if this guy has half a brain he has now memorized our password!”
This is when Gary’s story could have become even worse…
Gary said, “Don’t worry I’ll change our password.”
“Gary, you’re not going anywhere near our computer.”
The next day our son Tyler visited. He said he would reset our computer password. Within a couple of minutes Tyler asked, “Mom what do you want to use for the new password? It must have one uppercase letter, lowercase letters, a number, and be something no one could ever guess.”
I said, “Tyler the new password is YourDadis#1Idiot!
Tyler laughed out loud, “Mom that is way too obvious. Surely you can come up with a better password.”
So, there you have it. All these years people around North America have been reading Gary’s Living Retired column. Now you know what it is like for me Living Retired.
Living Retired this week was written by guest writer Jan Chalk.
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