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Posted by on Apr 7, 2024 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired — ‘Hear Ye, Hear ye’

Living Retired — ‘Hear Ye, Hear ye’

Living Retired — ‘Hear Ye, Hear Ye.’

By Gary Chalk.

Jan and I have been updating our travel medical insurance. As we compared the ins and outs of the benefits of two different providers health plans it got to the point where I became, well, sick of it. I interpreted one company’s policy benefits one way, but Jan saw it differently. After some back and forth examining things, it turns out Jan was correct. Go figure.

Jan couldn’t resist, “You see Gary, I am a very good problem solver.”

“And Jan, I am very good problem maker, so that means we make a great couple.” It made sense to me. Jan sighed.

We are in good health. However, if you listen to Jan she will tell you I am having difficulty hearing her. That’s the first I’ve heard about it.

Speaking of hearing, we were out for dinner with our friends Rick and Judy and it turns out Judy has been urging Rick for a while now to call for an appointment to have his hearing aids checked. Rick said, “When I called, the receptionist confirmed my name and then asked my age, saying, “What year?” I said my left ear. She said I’d better come in right away.”’

I had my hearing checked a couple years ago. When the audiologist completed the exam he discussed the results with me. This is my recollection of our conversation…

I said, “So just give me the long and the short of the results.”

“Gary, it’s not a case of the long and the short, it is a case of the highs and the lows. You have difficulty hearing some higher frequencies.”

“So, you’re saying the high and low frequencies are the ying and the yang?”

“It’s not the ying and yang Gary, that would be comparing apples to oranges.”

I thought out loud, “So should I get hearing aids? Yes or no?”

He responded, “Well, it’s not yes or no; it is maybe, but maybe not.”

The audiologist turned to a selection of hearing aids. “Gary, I’m undecided about whether you even need hearing aids yet. It’s come see come saw.”

I responded, “So, come see come saw means it’s neither good nor bad.”

He proceeded to show me some hearing aids. “You can choose between good, better, and best. You may like this. You may like that.”

We compared the features of the good, the better, and the best models, I asked, “Could I have a little bit of this and a little bit of that?”

“Gary, a little bit of this and a little bit of that would be neither good nor bad.”

I was confused. I asked, “So you’re saying it’s neither here nor there?”

He said, “Gary, at this point my point is hearing aids may my pointless.”

As I concluded the visit he suggested I go home and think about it, saying, “Gary, you have to think about what lies behind you and what lies ahead of you.”

Later at dinner I said to Jan I could choose between one pair of hearing aids that were less expensive than the other but they didn’t have as many benefits.

“So, Gary you’re telling me it is a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul.”

WHAT!!! “Jan, what would motivate you to use such an overused hackneyed expression!”


Living Retired is written by syndicated humour columnist Gary Chalk.


Listen to ‘Living Retired: The Radio Edition’ every Friday 10:30 to 11 AM on The Mike Farwell Show on CityNews570.


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