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Posted by on Mar 26, 2023 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired – ‘Careful What you Say’

Living Retired – ‘Careful What you Say’

Living Retired — ‘Careful What You Say’

By Gary Chalk.

Recently, Jan and I qualified to have our latest Covid-19 vaccine boosters. You know the routine: you check-in, present your health card, and then you are directed to have a seat where you wait for the next available nurse to call you up to her station to administer your shot. Easy-peasy, right? Well not so fast Dr. Fauci…

Our appointment to roll up our shirt sleeve got off on the right foot. Jan and I were sitting together waiting. Jan was called up before me. Afterwards we were instructed to go back and have a seat for five minutes before leaving. This is when things went haywire…

I sat down in the same chair I was perched on before I went up for my vaccine. Jan was already sitting, scrolling through the emails on her iPhone. So, I began doing the same. Without looking up I said, “I really enjoyed last night with you.”

No response.

“Dear, you didn’t answer me. I said I really enjoyed last night with you. Did you? I hope my muffins weren’t too hot for you.”

No response.

Just then, I looked up as the woman looked over at me. OMG IT WASN’T JAN! The woman had blonde hair like Jan, but it sure wasn’t Jan!

Just then, Jan stood up from the row of seats behind.

And just then, the woman looked up from her iPhone and looked at me in the eyes. What took place next was a three-way conversation that went like this…

The woman laughed. “I didn’t think your muffins were too hot last night!”

I cringed. “Sorry I thought you were my wife.”

Jan said, “Gary, I am over here. Who are you talking with?”

“Jan, I thought this woman was you.”

The woman said, “It is alright please don’t worry.”

Jan said, “What did you say to her?”

“I told her that I really enjoyed being with her last night.”

Jan said, “You told her what!”

The woman said, “I am not embarrassed. Please don’t worry.”

Jan said, “Please Lord tell me he didn’t say anything more.”

I said, “Full disclosure Jan. I also apologized to her if my muffins were too hot.”

“Gary, just so I have this right. You told a complete stranger that you enjoyed being with her last night AND you hoped your muffins weren’t too hot!”

“Jan, last night was our anniversary and we made a special dinner. Remember? I made muffins.”

Jan mumbled something about wishing she couldn’t remember.

The woman laughed. Jan grimaced.

Just like that our Covid-19 vaccine appointment was like no other. I thought I’d give it a shot, and said, “Jan, our five minutes have passed. Let’s get out of here.”

Jan apologized to the woman saying something about, “We have only been married for 47 years!”

As Jan and I walked out to our car I didn’t dare look back at the woman. In fact, I didn’t dare look at Jan.

Driving home Jan broke the silence. “Gary, I am so embarrassed. Did you not look at the woman before you opened your mouth?”

“Jan I am sorry.”

Jan said, “You should be.”

I had nothing more to say.


This week Living Retired was written by Jan, Gary Chalk’s wife.


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