Pages Menu
Categories Menu

Posted by on Feb 7, 2022 in Retirement Humour |

Living Retired — ‘A Whole Lotta of Shakin’ Going On’

Living Retired — ‘A Whole Lotta of Shakin’ Going On’

Living Retired – ‘A Whole Lotta’ Shakin’ Going On’

We’ve got ourselves a party going on at our house. And of all places it is happening in our laundry room.

It all started when we replaced our washing machine and dryer as part of our laundry room makeover. It was back when Covid Couple Confinement was dragging on and on, so we decided to renovate the laundry room because – these were Jan’s exact words – “Gary, I am not going to continue waving this damn dish towel at the smoke alarm while you bake sourdough bread!”

Our new dryer works fine. But the washing machine, well lets just say, it puts a whole new spin on doing the laundry. When it goes into the spin cycle the washing machine shakes violently and writhes like Joe Cocker singing ‘With A Little Help From My Friends’ at Woodstock.

Jan was the first to notice. “Gary, you have to come here quick. We have a problem with the washing machine. It is dancing all over the laundry room. You may want to bring your wrench. Or your dancing shoes.”

Jan knows I do not have dancing shoes because they don’t sell them with two right feet. Besides, when we do dance, Jan always leads.

In the minute it took for me to get to the laundry room the washing machine had wriggled out from underneath the new granite countertop we installed and disco’d its way to the middle of the floor! The machine was shaking like someone’s rear end on a gym treadmill in January!

The first words out of my mouth were, “WOW! Jan there’s a whole lot of shaking going on!”

The next thing I heard was Alexa, “Okay, playing ‘Whole Lotta’ Shakin’ Going On’” by Jerry Lee Lewis.”

“Gary, you need to get someone in to fix this soon.” With that, she left the laundry room complaining the loud music was giving her a headache.

I called the manufacturer. But guess what? Their company has been affected by the exact problem every company you reach on the phone: “Please listen carefully as our telephone extensions have changed.” Just once I would like to hear: “Please note our telephone extensions are the same old, same old.”

The company dispatched an authorized repairman to see what the problem is that has our washing machine agitated – and Jan and I!

The repairman looked like he was around back in the day when women stayed home and looked after washing the clothes. I whispered to Jan that she should change into a full length dress like June Cleaver. She whispered to me, “Gary, I’d tell you to put a sock in it, but half our socks went missing in the last load.”

Before you could say, ‘Tide’s In, Dirt’s Out’ the repairman started the washing machine. Sure enough, when it reached the spin cycle it was shaking like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee. The repairman jumped back and shouted, “WOW! You’ve got yourself a real dancing machine here.”

Alexa piped up, “Okay, playing ‘Dancing Queen by Abba.’”

It has been a long ordeal but finally our washing machine is fixed. It doesn’t shake anymore. Jan shakes only when I tell her I did the laundry and I forgot to add fabric softener.

The laundry room makeover is done. I said to Jan, “Dear, all’s well that ends well.”

Alexa awoke, “Okay, playing ‘All Is Well’ by Carrie Underwood and Michael Smith.’”

Who knew laundry could be music to your ears?